Enlightened Choices Newsletter for Women's Trauma Issues - From WIIT - The Women's Institute for Incorporation Therapy - Offering women's treatment programs for acute symptoms of psychological trauma including depression, bipolar, borderline personality, child abuse, sex abuse, trauma, survivor, dissociative disorder, PTSD, multiple personality, D.I.D., ritual abuse, incest and other trauma issues.

The more I work with people who are working through their post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the more obvious it becomes to me that there are three types of people who travel on the journey of recovery. Within each of these types there are symbolic expressions of painful emotions, hurts, roles and/or functions.

The description of these types is not meant to present a new form for diagnosing individuals with PTSD. Nor are these descriptions meant to be critical, demeaning or labeling. This paper is simply a way of viewing the symbolic expressions (themes) or types that run through the traumatized population as a whole. This population's main mode of communicating their secrets, traumas, threats, hurt and pain, is through symbolic expression, both verbal and/or behavioral. After years of practicing these symbolic behavior patterns, the individual experiences them as if they are a part of their very makeup. At that point, the individual feels like there is no chance of change.

The purpose of this paper is to increase the understanding of the types that exist in recovery from PTSD. It is important to understand that throughout the recovery process one does not necessarily remain only one type. An individual may vary and experience some, all or a combination of these types at various times. I hope that this paper will help to normalize the growth and passage into recovery by demystifying the experience.

Types

The first type is the Victim. This type of individual is foreboding toward the future, hyper vigilant of the present and relives their past. They are constantly, anxiously waiting for the "other shoe to drop". They carry their body hunched over guarding their stomach, their underbelly. They have no trust in anyone, including themselves. They think and speak of the future in withdrawn negative and foreboding terms. In their daily language, the victim's mental concept comes out clearly in their speech, "Everything just happens to me. You wouldn't believe what my children did to me. You wouldn't believe what my boss did to me. You wouldn't believe what my spouse did to me. You wouldn't believe what the produce man did to me at the grocery store."

With this negative, fearful and defeated mental stance, this type is always waiting to be victimized by the past, present or future. They are very easily hurt, so there is a constant need to isolate and withdraw from society and be invisible. They think the less involvement with other people, the less chance of being hurt. This type experiences a lot of difficulties functioning in daily life. They place a high value on outside validation. Often, when they find it, they attach to its source to give themselves the identity that they are missing from within. They accept external negative criticism about themselves as reality and truth. Self-hate is abuser-induced (through negative verbal tapes) and they accept it as truth. This type has a high rate of sabotage toward any success they encounter.

The victim type uses all the victim skills they have acquired in their life in order to relive and hold back the past. They have developed strong victim skills and have been successful with them. After sufficient practice, these victim skills become the only way they know how to live. As a result, they are not living in the present and have no future. The victim type is unable to make a decision toward recovery, and wants someone else to make the decision so they do not have to be responsible if they fail or succeed. Also in their mind they believe that recovery should just automatically happen to them.

The second type is the Survivor. This type of individual sees the future as a test of endurance, a conflict between their skills and adversity. While they feel triumphant over the past, they remain guarded in the present. They think like a "warrior waiting to fight." Their main objective is to just survive the next loss or trauma. This type is constantly building defensive emotional walls and gaining warrior skills to help them "survive the next event" in daily living. They carry their body with their head up and their arms folded over their chest like a shield. They trust everyone else more than themselves. They are hypervigilant of their environment, constantly making sure that their perimeters are safe and worrying if they will be breached. This type centers mentally on external validation for evidence of worth, esteem and protection, but is unable to see any positive validation. They have a lot of anger and rage, and a need for outwardly directed vengeance. In their daily language the survivor's mental concept comes out clearly in their speech, "Whew, I just survived (or just made it through)" ("I just survived my shift at work. I just survived 8 hours with my kids. I just survived a job interview. I just survived going to the mall. I just survived the night."). With a shielded, revengeful and guarded mental stance, this type is always focused on a fight with one main objective - "be the one to survive" the present battle.

An individual living the survivor type uses all the survival skills they have acquired in order to fight each individual fight, seeking revenge and victory for the past. The past is revisited to learn how to better arm them to survive today's fight. The future is not planned. The need to use these fighting skills is disruptive to their daily living. Because of this combative approach to living, the survivor type wants someone else to "make or force them" to enter recovery, since in their mind recovery will not be a process, but a long, hard fight.

The third type is the Recoverer. This type of individual experiences the present, references the past and plans on a future through work done in the present. This type experiences each life event individually and then decides whether or not the experience was beneficial for them. Their main objective is to live in the here and now, take back from the past what they have lost, and develop plans for achieving their goals. This type has forgiven and accepted themselves without conditions. They are constantly gathering new skills to practice so they can be more comfortable and function better in daily living. The new skills are also tools that will fit within their future plans. This type carries their body with confidence, even though he or she is scared, anxious and/or fearful inside about today and the future. They walk with their head up, chest out and look forward. They have made a decision to follow through on their promises to themselves and develop a trust. They are aware of their environment and know that their safety is based on sound, common sense decisions. This type centers mentally on internal validation for evidence of worth, esteem, safety and protection. They use external validation as a reference for tasks in the present and not as the truth. A Recoverer's mental concept shows up clearly in their speech "I will have to experience the event first and then I will tell you what I think or feel." This type does not spend all their time "worrying or predicting the future". They experience it when it happens, feel it, learn from it and then use it in order to move forward.

The Recoverer experiences life for all it is worth. This individual understands that life is a series of hurts and pains mixed with happiness and love. They see the recovery process as a source of rich experience. The past is periodically revisited for information that might be helpful in the present or future. The revisited past has no shame, blame, guilt or pain, it just happened. The future is planned. Recovery for this type is a dynamic, ongoing process.

I hope this paper has increased your understanding of these different types, and of yourself. I further hope that this new awareness will help you in your forward movement toward the next step in recovery.

Well, here we are again. I've been sitting here trying to think of what I'm going to write and my mind is a blank. You would think that I could get inspired in my current location, but it is not happening. I'm sitting in a hotel room, facing the Atlantic Ocean. It's absolutely gorgeous, if a bit cold. I'm working in Virginia Beach for the month and decided to take advantage of the off season rates. I'm enjoying it and I've learned something about myself as well.

Having the rare opportunity of facing due east, right on the ocean, I can enjoy the sunrise every morning. I've never been a great morning person and usually get up with just enough time to shower, dress and grab a cup of coffee on the run before I dash out the door, vainly trying to make it to work on time. This past month that has gradually been changing. I find myself not having to push the snooze button three times before I drag myself out of bed. I'm actually setting my alarm a little earlier and getting up on the first ring so that I can get ready for work before the sunrise. I'm taking my breakfast out on the balcony and relaxing while I begin my day with the sun.

It's amazing what a different tilt this puts on the whole day. I'm more relaxed, have more patience with the people I'm working with and am enjoying things more. I've also been trying to think of ways that I can transfer this experience to the rest of my life when I leave this place in a week and go back home for a little while then on to the next job. I think I'm going to be able to. I know I won't always have the sunrise beaming at me but I think I could go for a walk, a swim or just have breakfast outside. I think the most important part of my new "routine" is that I'm giving myself a chance to collect my thoughts for the day and just relax. I believe I can do that wherever I am, now that it seems to have become a habit. I'm even waking up early to see the sunrise on my day off, (Okay, I admit I went back to bed for a little while afterwards.). The opportunity to start my day a little more organized and kind of ease in to it has been a wonderful gift. It gives me a different perspective on everything that I seem to do during the course of the day and I seem to be accomplishing more as well because I take those few minutes to make sure that I have everything I'm going to need during the day as well. I'm not getting 15 minutes down the road and realizing that I forgot a piece vital to some project I was going to undertake during the day.

My pearl of newfound wisdom I want to share... find a way to begin your day gently. It sets the tone for the rest of the day to follow and makes each one a little easier to take.