Enlightened Choices Newsletter for Women's Trauma Issues - From WIIT - The Women's Institute for Incorporation Therapy - Offering women's treatment programs for acute symptoms of psychological trauma including depression, bipolar, borderline personality, child abuse, sex abuse, trauma, survivor, dissociative disorder, PTSD, multiple personality, D.I.D., ritual abuse, incest and other trauma issues.

Much has been written on recovery from trauma and abuse through the last ten years. Many clinicians and researchers have expounded on recovery and all its elements. I believe that knowledge and understanding of recovery is crucial to forming a successful recovery mindset. An understanding of what recovery might look like going forward is essential to reduce fear and anxiety, but sometimes it's just as important to know what recovery is not.

In this article I'd like to look at the other side of recovery-the side that is not. At the time a survivor is deciding to enter into recovery, he/she is faced with staying with the familiar or dealing with unpredictability. There are situations where there are no answers, just feelings; no familiar automatic barriers, just new boundaries; no black or white, just a lot of gray; no familiar guarantees, just healthy fear.

Decision-making strategists agree that it is important to understand both sides of any subject as this will lead to greater understanding and eventual success. So my objective with this article is to help people seeking recovery to understand what it's not and to help them find some predictability through faith in self.

Recovery is earned, not a given.
Recovery is not just given to a victim as a rite of passage. It's not an entitlement. A survivor has to earn the right to be in the process. Recovery is a very fragile state and needs to be nurtured or it could slip away. Recovery is hard work that involves firm decisions, commitment, investments and giant leaps of faith.

Recovery is not about waiting for something to happen automatically.
Recovery does not come to the survivor. It doesn't knock at the door. All those years in old behaviors has taught that ignoring, denying, fighting, withdrawing or isolating don't work and won't make the pain and hurt disappear. Continuing to perform old behaviors, like waiting for the symptoms to just go away or people to get used to them, only produce the same old results: pain, numbness, hopelessness. Acting out the symptoms or switching to avoid are anti-recovery. Even though the PTSD symptoms seemed to happen automatically, that doesn't mean that recovery will start the same way. Recovery is about doing something different. Recovery has to be grabbed, created, worked, rehearsed and held on to through all the ups and downs. So don't wait. Be proactive. Actively reach for recovery. Face the fears and stand tall.

Recovery is never owned.
No person can buy their way into recovery. There is no ownership of recovery. There is not enough money to sway recovery into becoming a possession. An individual, a therapist or a treatment facility cannot own recovery. It can only be experienced. Allow yourself to experience it.

Recovery is not the same for everyone.
Recovery is a different journey for everyone. What works for one survivor does not work for another. Listen internally and create your own path.

Recovery cannot be threatened.
A survivor cannot threaten their way into recovery either. Recovery is intimidated by nothing. Recovery is always consistent and stands strong.

Recovery is not quick.
The hardest lesson to learn about recovery is that it's a process. A process is inherently time consuming and exhausting. Recovery is focus and personal responsibility.

Recovery is not a literal process.
Survival did not happen through a literal process. Victims do not actually break into little pieces. Survival was achieved by a creative, symbolic process produced through human imagination. Survival is symbolic and operates on five levels: mental, emotional, physical, behavioral and spiritual. It makes sense that if survival is a creative and symbolic process, then recovery will be a creative and symbolic process.

Recovery is not found outside of self.
Trauma and abuse drives a victim outside themselves and leaves a vacant area in the soul. From that point on, the survivor looks toward external validation for answers and to fill that vacancy, but the answers never come from the outside. Recovery is empowerment. The answers are found within.

Recovery is not separation.
Recovery is the establishment of a relationship with self, rather than the continued separation. Whereas survival is the act of separation, recovery is the act of unification.

Recovery is not an indecisive event.
Recovery cannot be accomplished without a decision. To accomplish recovery one has to be decisive, accountable, consistent and responsible.

Recovery is not losing memory.
Health is not a way to achieve amnesia and forget all that has happened. In recovery the fact is that the more you grow the more you will know. Health is rewarded by getting back unknown memory.

Recovery is not a reason to display pain.
Recovery is not about acting out one's pain by directing it at self or other people, places or things. It is an opportunity to finally recognize the pain, allow it to pass by, grieve the losses, and then accept the trauma information into your normal memory bank.

Recovery is not easy.
But neither is it easy to live in the darkness, fear, terror, trauma and/or abuse. Strength and growth is never gained from something that is given or automatic. Any process that is easy carries little worth.

Recovery is not without sacrifices.
Recovery is a sacrifice. Everything a survivor has could be lost by entering into recovery. Those who were thought to be close friends, a supportive partner or loving family members may not like the changes that have been made. Be willing to move forward even with the possibility of losses.

Recovery is not an act of continued loyalty.
Health is the ultimate revenge against the abuser and old behavior patterns. Perpetrators want the victim to always be blind, deaf, sick and silent. Make the decision to never keep another secret for others. Be loyal and devoted to self first.

Recovery is not another method of Self-Sabotage.
Recovery is not another self- punishing tool to add to the sabotage arsenal. Recovery is not an arena to display recanted loyalties. Recovery is not a method to use favorite abusive patterns or tools toward the ones who have cared and helped. It is not a platform to display self-sabotaging betrayal against the original dream, newly formed values or decision to recover. Some survivors quickly forget their promise to health and recovery-at any price, no matter what. Much more hurt is produced in recovery from those who abandon recovery than is ever done through honest work for recovery.

It is time to discard what is not and embrace what is recovery of self.

Incorporation is great! Alters/parts/you get to take on new functions. It's called recovery, growth and change.

But after the euphoria wears off and you go home to your "new life," a shock occurs. You realize that inside you don't know what "assertiveness" or "self-nurturing" or "healthy protection" or "cooperation" means. You thought that you would suddenly know and be different and act different. But suddenly you realize you haven't had much exposure to such healthy concepts, to say nothing about much experience actually applying them to your own life. Sure, you were introduced to the concepts and encouraged to practice them in the safety of WIIT with others who were supportive, willing to learn and change. But change still incites abusers' values and self doubt. The affirmations are still new and foreign. (You ARE still saying them in the mirror five times a day, right?) Those around you surprisingly didn't change or grow at the same rate or aren't as supportive or willing to change as you. The abusers' values say, "You failed. You're doing it wrong. See, I told you nothing would change. What made you think anything would be different?" (These are so expected that they're listed on pages 10-14 in your WIIT Aftercare Workbook.)

But do you remember those "stages of development" and "20 human needs" you heard about in groups? Do you remember how you were told that it takes six months (five times a day in the mirror) to replace abusers' values with self values? Do you remember your Aftercare Workbook and being told that you would have to CREATE new definitions, values, expectations, and a self concept? Sorry, it doesn't happen overnight, by a miracle or by osmosis. It takes still more work. I know it's not fair that the abusers created the problems but you have to clean them up. I know you have a childhood to grieve, a family to take care of, a job to go to. WIIT wasn't the end, but the beginning of new possibilities.

To learn the new functions and possibilities, have you considered an assertiveness course? A parenting class (to re-parent inside or outside), watching mothers in the park who respectfully talk to, listen to and interact with their children? A martial arts class? Starting an exercise program or excursion with an acquaintance? Giving yourself a foot rub, a bubble bath, permission to buy yourself flowers, pick wild ones or plant some? Starting a new hobby that you don't have to do well, only enjoy? Taking or giving music or knitting, or car and home repair lessons? Volunteering or getting a part-time job where there is mutual nurturing/support/stimulation (humane society, nursing home, sports camp, political party, church, book store, library)? Checking the dictionary, internet, library or therapist for definitions and instructions?

Have you kept up on journaling and respectful, internal communication, not just dialogue or control? Kept your therapy appointments and taken your medications, vitamins and time for yourself? Have you read a supervision or management book and applied it inside? Or applied inside the excellent skills you apply at work? Have you begun to build a family of choice and a new set of healthier friends or employers in your life so that it's easier to let go of old friends/family/jobs that are unsupportive, unhealthy or even abusive? Have you checked the paper, internet or library for social or service groups that DON'T focus on recovery? Have you checked into school, training, grants or loans for that degree or job that sounds intriguing? Have you been attending your 12-step meetings to maintain your sobriety, choosing healthy groups and sponsors? (If they feel too comfortable or familiar, maybe they're not that healthy.) Have you read up on nutrition, health and finances, and changed your diet, exercise, sleep patterns and spending? Have you been to the doctor and the dentist and gotten new glasses? Have you changed your hair, make-up, wardrobe (Salvation Army/Goodwill/accessories�), routine, route to work, which wrist you wear your watch on? Gotten a pet, pet your pet, gotten a new book or video for fun or growth? Have you kept your list of human needs handy so you can see what's not getting met when you find yourself slipping back into old patterns? Looked at the stages of development to see what your next task is? Have you explored healthier ways to get those adrenaline rushes that you used to get from chaos and unhealthy risks, gone back to school or work or on a date? Have you had a heart-to-heart talk with your significant other, your kids, your dog? Allowed someone else to nurture you?

Have you listed the knowledge/skills you think you are lacking; listed the places, people, things which could help you obtain the information/education/experience? Have you looked around at your positive role models (parts of self, friends, associates, teachers, therapists, actors, public figures�) and decided which of their attributes you would like to adopt/adapt for yourself? Have you visualized who you want to be and begun to map out how to get there? Have you outlined, researched, read, written and practiced applying what you've discovered-keeping what fits for you and discarding what doesn't?

A lifetime of learning is a challenge. It can be a struggle or enjoyable and rewarding. Not everything has to be hard or serious. Mistakes and horrible experiences can still be filled with growth. Returning to WIIT inpatient or intensive outpatient to do the next step of recovery may be a wonderful way to honor your success at applying new knowledge and skills, becoming ready to let go of more old defenses. Returning to WIIT after a new trauma may be just the safe environment you need to regain your balance and remember that you do have the skills and resources within. Not everything has to be about old hurts, deficits and recovery. Maybe it's just time to give yourself permission to NOT know, but to learn and grow. Maybe it's time to stop focusing on "recovery" and realize that even "healthy, well-adjusted" people don't know everything and spend a lifetime learning. You didn't survive by being stupid and lazy. You survived and you can thrive by being the intelligent, motivated, courageous, curious, strong, sensitive, determined person you are.

Well, here we are again, well past time for the next issue of EC. I've been struggling with some personal demons, which I'm sure all of you can appreciate, and it's kept me a little preoccupied for a while. I'm better now, just still a little tender.

It's been frustrating for me to find myself in this position. I have seen some of my deepest fears being lived out in another person, someone whom I considered a friend and who I admired for all the work she had done in her recovery. What is my deepest fear you may ask, it's that I will have done all this hard work and achieved this level of success in my life to find that I have gone completely crazy and it was all for naught. Basically, that none of this was real. That I was faking it and was never able to make it and it finally caught up with me. The thing is, I thought my fear was original to me and as I've talked to people, I discovered how many of us have this fear in common. No one wants to find themselves losing everything they have worked so hard to achieve and falling back into that dark pit they clawed their way out of.

It's always been a fear, niggling at the back of my neck and sneaking up on me when I get really tired and slip back a little, but here it was in vivid, living color. It really could happen and it did, to someone else.

I have had long conversations with people I trust who all assure me that the same will not happen to me, that I am a different person and that I am in a different place than she is or was. I know this, the intellectual, recovered part of me that goes to work every day, is successful, and is enjoying life. However, the parts of me that lived through hell and will always be somewhat fragile don't see or hear that. They see a friend who is hurting and has lost all touch with what reality is. All those lessons that she learned about Abuser's Values and reclaiming herself and her choices have been forgotten. I think the biggest thing that has been forgotten is her personal responsibility for her feelings and those choices that she makes now as an adult. I'm almost at the point that I realize she is not me and we are different people. I don't believe that I would allow the same thing to happen to me. I cherish my ability to own my own feelings and actions. I always take responsibility for myself. I can't believe that I would ever make myself into a victim again. Blaming my lot in life on my perception of others actions.

My reality is this�.There may be times when events in my life are out of my control, when other people say things or act out in ways that are hurtful to me, but how I react to that and carry myself forward from that point is totally my own. I am no longer a child and I can make choices about what I do with external stimuli that is coming at me. I can choose to allow it in and then deal with it, processing it and storing it away in the proper drawer or I can kick it out, deciding that I refuse to own it. Hopefully I make a smart, informed choice that allows me to go forward. Not always, unfortunately, but none of us are perfect. When I do make a poor choice though, it doesn't take me too long to recognize it and take action to correct it. I owe a lot of how I currently live my life to WIIT. The lessons that I learned while I was there and how I incorporated them into my life after I left with the help of my therapist. I look at my old friend and the same question keeps recurring in my head. We learned the same lessons, we went through the same program, where are those lessons in her head and how could she have let something so precious escape her?

Surprisingly, I discovered that I was angry at her for being so careless with such a wonderful gift. Truly, it may not be something she just threw away. There are organic reasons that people lose their grasp on reality and that may very well be what occurred. When that happens, there is nothing you can do, except take your medication and let others try to help you. Which ever it is, I will never know. I find myself going through an abbreviated grieving process because I know that even though she is not dead, she can never be a part of my life again. I actually hadn't heard from her in a couple of years, but I always had the feeling that she was out there if I should ever need her again. Now, I make the hard choice that I have made before. I choose to let her go. All I can do at this point is keep her in my prayers and hope that some day she gets it back together again. That may sound very cold, but part of my recovery has been learning how to protect my recovery. It's very easy to slip back when I am around people who are not actively in recovery or moving past recovery back into life. People who are sick are very manipulative (at least I was) and can suck you back down when you're not even looking. I speak from past experience in this because I participated in just that several times in my quest for wellness. There is an allure to being sick, not having to be responsible for anything and having people take care of you. Fortunately for me, the rewards of living an active, healthy life far outweigh the attraction of being sick.

I was alone and terrified with no one to help.
I looked upward and saw an ethereal being with no shame or guilt
To impose upon me

I couldn't believe this thing to be true
But when I looked again the being loomed larger and bade me come
With no hidden agenda

Trust is no easy thing for one such as me.
When people have come and gone for no reason at all
I doubt the staying of many.

But this entity was filled with such compassion
"What was this gentle strength all about?" asked my cynic
I thought, "Do I dare?"

It was as if I was being heard without words
I longed to believe in something other than me
The struggle continued inside

"You know what's happened before,"
"It's too late for your life to begin again at your age"
But I so desired more

When I looked again, my eyes were opened
And I saw Love, Love that looked like the most majestic mountain
And me

Then I listened and my ears were attuned
And I heard Love, Love that sounded like the sweetest baby's coo
And me

Finally, I asked and my heart was filled
And I felt Love, Love that was so warm it melted all my doubts and fears
And I fell in Love with Love
And me

I was asked to write something on what my experiences have been since I transferred from WIIT inpatient to IOP. What have I noticed that is different? I guess the two biggest differences are the pace of change, and how people deal with increased freedom. Let's look at these one at a time. While I was inpatient, people came into the program in crisis, depressed, suicidal, confused, and demoralized. Much of the work that is done inpatient concentrates on stabilization and getting people to the point where they can return home to continue the work they started at WIIT. The atmosphere is very safe due to the fact that it is very controlled. Yes, there are a ton of rules - no gum, no music, no outside reading materials and on and on. Yes, people complain about the rules all the time but rules provide safety and allow people to work at a really rapid pace. That was really great for me as a therapist because the safety that the inpatient setting provided meant I saw really dramatic changes in patients in a relatively short period of time. Then they left and returned home. The person I saw who was leaving to return home was always dramatically different than the person who initially walked in the door for the first time. I would have these "Before" and "After" mental snapshots in my mind of the person and be amazed at the difference between the two.

In IOP the pace at which therapy goes is a lot different. Patients have to open themselves up during group and then zip themselves up to return home at the end of the day. They have a lot of other distractions because they go back home at 2:30. They do other things besides therapy and have other commitments. They have started the transition back into "the real world". This means change happens more slowly than inpatient. I see a lot of clients who get frustrated because the pace has slowed and they blame themselves thinking it's due to a lack of commitment or they aren't working hard enough. This truly isn't the case. IOP gives you the opportunity to work on yourself and add other things besides therapy into your life. Your goal is to have a life in which you are free to pursue things that are interesting and attractive to you: friends, a career, hobbies, and spirituality. Eventually the life you have created outside of treatment becomes your major focus and that time comes when you consistently apply the coping skills you have learned. You stop analyzing and judging and labeling and you are free to just be in your experience in the present and just go with it.

The other major difference that I have noticed in IOP is how people handle their increased freedom. Actually a better way of putting it is how people deal with increased choice. Freedom really is just an increase in the amount of choice one has. Trauma survivors tend to be focused on performance. The idea of having more to choose from becomes a scary thing for many people because the chance of choosing incorrectly increases exponentially. If a choice doesn't turn out as predicted then immediately the Abuser Values of "failure" or "bad person" or "unworthy" comes into play. That's a lot of pressure. Too much pressure because the consequences seem so dire. So let's think of things in a different way just to see if things feel differently. Instead of focusing on performance let's focus on experience. After all, life is the ability to gather and enjoy all kinds of different experiences. If you have an experience you don't enjoy, it's the experience that was unpleasant, not you. It was the experience that was bad, not you. You just happened to be somewhere having an experience, but the experience speaks about your situation, not about you. So you choose "incorrectly" and things turn out in a way that you don't like. What about that experience can you take away and learn from? It may be something as simple as I know I don't want to repeat that experience again. I did it once and I have learned that I don't need to do that anymore. I'm done having that type of experience. That sounds simplistic but it can be very profound, and those kinds of decisions can never be made unless you've had the experience in the first place.

Let's face it, we learn our best lessons experientially, not intellectually. Experiencing your choice provided a valuable learning opportunity even though the experience itself wasn't a pleasant one. Now invariably when I ask this question to someone who is still listening more to their abuser values than they are to me, they will say something like, "What I learned is that I'm a failure and a bad person and I don't deserve to get better." Here is another way I would like you to think about things for a little while just to try on how it feels. Analyze your thoughts based on relevance not on truth. What does that mean? We spend a lot of time thinking things like "I'm a bad person", or "I don't deserve to get better", or "I should be punished". Truth is a relevant, subjective, and personal thing. Quite frankly, I'm tired of debating it. The bottom line is that the truth is not a relevant issue if it doesn't lead you to take meaningful and purposeful action that improves your situation. Let me illustrate my point. Someone runs up to you in a crowded restaurant and starts shouting "There's a child who's choking!" and they want you to help. Let's just say for the sake of this example that you know how to help the child. The first question you would need to ask would have to be "Where's the child?" You have to know where the child is to help the child, right? What if the person who ran up to you said "Saudi Arabia!" What action could you take at that point? Pretty much none because you are here and the child is in Saudi Arabia. You aren't going to be the one that helps the child. You can't take purposeful and meaningful action to improve the situation at that point. Not relevant.

The labels we often apply to ourselves aren't relevant unless they lead us to take action to improve our situation. If you want to label yourself as "bad" and that leads you to take purposeful and meaningful action to improve things so that you can label yourself as "good" that's great. If you label yourself as "bad" and that leads you to want to punish yourself and isolate yourself and abuse yourself, then the label you applied is irrelevant. Why spend time thinking about or worrying about things that are totally irrelevant? The mass media seems to have that base covered quite sufficiently. Let them handle irrelevant, you concentrate on relevant, and truth we'll put aside to ponder later.

    "Some people carry their hearts in their heads, many carry their heads in their hearts. The difficulty is to keep them apart, and yet both actively working together."
    -Unknown

Life. Meaning. Creativity. Art. In the largest sense, they are all one. Unlike the clich� of searching for the meaning of life, rather, as a psychotherapist, it makes much more sense to begin seeking out the meaning in life. Much of human striving, beyond mere survival needs, appears to me to be directed toward the creation of meaning in life: Creation of meaning, not the discovery of meaning. Although an object, person or a process may have uniquely intrinsic characteristics, individually, we determine its meaning to us. Our determinations then take form through the ways we structure, integrate, express, and understand our life experiences.

Creating art and visual images have always been an important part of communication; when words are not enough we turn to images and symbols to speak for us. For centuries, creating symbols and images have allowed us to express our sorrow, support self and reacquaint ourselves with hope, all phenomena utilized to repair and renew self. As human beings, it is this very same drive to create and visually express ourselves, that isolates us from all other beings. Unlike that of sophisticated medications, often times our own creative nature has a natural healing effect of connecting us with our own inner wisdom and an ability to guide us while easing our pain. Creative expression guides our grief and allows us to communicate the fear, pain, anxiety, and terror in a way that words cannot.

Because of past trauma and abuse, the horror of what we saw and felt, we dissociate as a means of numbing ourselves to the despair, fear and after effects of heinous acts committed against us. However, simultaneously, as we numb away the pain and fear, we also sever our relationship with self, locking away our unchosen life story deep inside of ourselves. Being unable to connect with self or to others, we may feel as if our senses have been muted, and that our life expressions are stifled. Conversely, our creativity and imagination actually expand during and following times of trauma and loss. Although the aftermath of surviving abuse is arresting to our ability to authentically connect with self, our feelings need to be expressed in order for us to achieve resolution. Through artistic and creative expression, we are able to make new meaning(s), acknowledge and validate our feelings and begin to move away from a life of silent suffering, into one of healing and transformation. During the early 20th century, art came to be utilized as a tool for therapeutic healing and an agent for change. Today, nearly one hundred years later, art is perhaps one of the most effective avenues towards a life of health and wellness. Although connecting to and creating new arenas of self expression cannot erase the past trauma and abuse, it does assist us in giving our emotions a visual voice, thereby allowing us to revisit the past in a way that embraces self-transformation and self-nurturance.

My creativity supports my well being and nourishes my soul for me.

In our Westernized culture, the characteristic of strength, and what makes a person considered "strong", has been inextricably joined with a person's ability to persevere. A concept that has been reaffirmed by many companies and employers through allotting a mere 3 days for grief following a loss of a loved one as long as the deceased is within a specified lineage of kin; while, entirely overlooking the need for resolution following trauma or abuse. This awareness of our need to persevere does not allow nor encourage us to effectively grieve the incurred loss. This principle may also bring light to family and friends seemingly unsupportive and cruel notions of, "When are you going to get over this, that was so long ago." All of this and more only further reinforce the suppression of our feelings. You may be familiar with books and other materials we encounter on the long-standing effects of trauma; however, I have yet to discover an acknowledgement by therapeutic professionals that recognizes chronic in-expression as a symptom.

Through creative expression and imagination, we create new experiences and meaning while being awakened by something beyond trauma, pain, and loss. As a result of trauma, we may initially experience memories through images, flashbacks and/or nightmares. These images may haunt and penetrate our minds before we have access to the words or stories behind them. The nature of human beings is rich with story telling. These stories help us identify with self, family, school, church, and other spheres within which we may belong. Our stories were created through experiences, therefore, it makes sense that in order to create new life stories, we would need to have additional experiences. Art and artistic expression, unlike other forms of healing, awaken and stimulate our senses in order for us to experience and communicate in a significant way. The images we create are the visual representations of experiences and stories of our life. By using art to express ourselves, we have an opportunity to recreate our life story and make new meaning. Creativity helps us to cope with our symptoms and identify deeper messages from our inner self that have been locked away in our unconscious mind - - the messages that may prove vital in order for us to progress in our journey towards recovery. The mere process of creating art and ultimately creating meaning is a doorway to a deeper understanding of trauma, and as close as we get to seeing our inner self.

Carl Jung stated "Our hands know how to solve a problem with which the intellect has struggled in vain" (Memories, Dreams, Reflections, 1962). Creativity is a process through which we bring something into existence and conscious awareness. Unlike the formal rules placed on language and grammar, art and the process of creating is freeing, which some may find intimidating because the message or meaning is not always clear and interpretable. Before we had words, we thought in images and symbols. Because of our trauma we are symbolic thinkers as well as communicators. Every product of our creation embraces multitudes of metaphors and symbolism. The word metaphor comes from the Greek language, which means transformer, while the word symbol, also borrowed from the Greek language, symbolon, means token of identity. It is easy to see how much of an impact the process of creating can be on our journey through recovery and in life.

Each of us was born with an innate gift and ability to create. For trauma recovery and healing purposes, we need neither the training nor formalized practice to experience the reparative power of self expression. We needn't worry about skills, as the goal is not to create a masterpiece. We need to withhold judgment and give self permission to not have to color within the lines. If we stop "knowing" what will fill our empty page (fortune telling), we naturally open ourselves up for new experiences and information to occur.

While there is no cure for past experiences of trauma and abuse, we can heal ourselves by embarking upon a journey of self discovery. The difference between healing and curing exists within the process: Curing removes all evidence of something that once existed, while healing allows for an internal transformation to occur, a process of reclaiming the physical, emotional, and spiritual realms that may have been lost as a result of trauma and abuse. It is only natural that art join forces with our gifts of creativity and imagination to become one of the best medicines for distress. And, if that be true, then healing cannot be fathomed by mind. It is an unseen process, and only through experience will we be able to understand the great wonderment of creating and expressing self. Through the mere act of facilitating healing through creating visual representations of our selves, our thoughts and our feelings, we are symbolically providing a forum for what our unconscious mind already knows on some level, thereby allowing new experiences to occur. Finding meaning for our creative work is an important part of healing, restoring ourselves to completeness and creating wellness amongst and within our mind, body and spirit.

Finally, many of us have the misconception that recovery is only obtained through work. While that is certainly true, there also is a common component that we lack in our recovery work: that is play. Play is a state of being, experiencing, and creating that allows us personal freedom to explore and express ourselves without judgment or rigid expectations. It is time to allow ourselves to experience and create through a variety of tools: drawing with crayons or markers, painting, collage, and even clay. Part of healing, like transformation, lies in trusting the process, inviting our inner child to experience self-expression in a freeing manner.

    "You must give birth to your images, they are the future waiting to be born."
    -Rainer Maria Rilke